NAJMETENDER

Actually, this is pretty timely since I’m currently taking a module in reporting art and culture and the first two weeks are all about film reviewing. It’s full of people who like performance art and wear fancy scarves.

I think all of the Harry Potter movies stand on a different ground when it comes to actually reviewing and analysing them, mostly because they’re parts of a enormous ginormicus whole. Usually, I think the best policy to seeing movies, especially adaptations, is to think of them as something that stands on its own and try to forget whatever it is based on, or any extra material that’s kind of relevant to it.

Obviously, it’s going to be a little hard for Deathly Hallows Part II to be judged this way because it’s ultimately the end of a saga and there’s just no way anyone watching it for the first time, without knowing anything about the Harry Potter series, can understand what the heck is going on. It’s too dense and it just symbolizes too much - especially for our generation. I still can’t believe The Philosopher’s Stone captured my imagination decade ago and I’m still in love with the world JK Rowling let us into. 

So yes, finally, Deathly Hallows II. 

Personally, I feel it suffered from the fact that Deathly Hallows I spent way too much time dicking about with the trio kind of sitting around and moping about the fact that they don’t know where to start looking for a frickin’ Horcrux. I think that by this point, we know the trio pretty intimately. I think that it’s pretty solid that Hermione and Ron have something going on (from Chamber of Secrets onwards), and Ron’s issues with his envy of Harry (already covered in Goblet of Fire) and I really don’t think that it’s necessary to have spent the amount of time that they did on it. So the unnecessary character development bleeds into the time that has to be used in Deathly Hallows II to cover the actual hunting of Important Voldemort Artefact Thingies.

The fact that Neville has been IGNORED until now is sacrilegious by the way - no one seems to have remembered that he was supposed to be the OTHER Chosen One, or that his parents had their sanity Cruciatused out of them. It just occurred to me that people might have been asking why Neville suddenly became so badass right at the last moment when he seemed to be a slapstick side character for the entirety of the movie saga? Am I wrong? He’s important because he was the other Boy Who Lived because he wasn’t chosen for that destiny and this seems to have been conveniently written out of the script. Like forever. And I feel sad for Neville.

I do have to give props for his scenes though, they were pretty cool. Good performance from the actor and his Cosby sweater, although his speech at the end was a little cringey - but maybe I’m being all elitist about big movie speeches. 

I did get teary at the appropriate times, but I’m not entirely sure if it’s because I was affected by the movie or because I remembered the way I felt when I read the books and was so deeply invested in the characters.

I honestly think Daniel Radcliffe should have been less of the star of the show than he was - yeah I know, it’s Harry Potter and the ____ ____ right, not Hogwarts and the ____ ____. However, I do think that what makes the books and movies so great is Hogwarts. I think that the first movie did so well because Hogwarts was the main character, not Harry Potter. Hogwarts has been at the heart of the Harry Potter series, and it all ends within the school grounds. I feel that I partly disliked Deathly Hallows Part I because we just did not see enough of what made Harry Potter so great - but was that intentional though? Maybe. I guess the return to Hogwarts in DHP2 would have been more significant if everyone wasn’t standing around and fecking having a wank over Harry’s triumphant appearance.

OH AND WHAT WAS WITH THE EPILOGUE? Could they not have hired different actors? How terrible did they look? Dan Radcliffe looked about two years older than his on screen son. Sweet Jebus.

Anyway that’s my first impressions, if I talk anymore about DHP2 I may strain my face.

(Also, I think that the actress that plays Ginny Weasley is pretty mediocre and that she could have been cut out of the series and no one would have noticed. Is it me or is she a bit of a Mary Sue? Like honestly? She comes out of nowhere and is the most popular girl in school and Harry is suddenly intrigued by her? Like whuuut.)

EDIT

WAIT WAIT WAIT

HOLD UP

WHAT HAPPENED TO VOLDEMORT’S BACK STORY BY THE WAY?

He’s only like The Antagonist - surely there should be more character development for him, the most evil wizard of all time to perhaps delve into a deeper understanding of why he turned out that way. Poor writing. Boo! Thumbs down on that.

And thumbs down on the fact that we still don’t know who the heck Dumbledore was. Yeah, he was kind of quirky, but also pretty powerful, I guess.

Oh hey Aberforth, you have a beard. You must be Albus Dumbledore’s brother!

Ooooh that stupid Albus, I hate his face! 

Could you tell us anything more about your brother?

Yeah there was that one thing about him being a kind of wizard supremacist and being in love with Grindelwald before he got all creepy and evil and stuff but that was just a phase anyway yeah let’s look at this portrait of my dead sister with the weird vibe over here-