Naj Me Tender

slumsofshaolin: (via movieoftheday)

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 13:31:01 +0800

(via movieoftheday)

Famous movie quotes as if written by a proper Englishman

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 13:28:07 +0800

thefrogman:

“We must acquire a larger vessel.”
- Jaws

“I’m growing impatient with these malevolent slithering reptiles on this bloody aircraft.”
- Snakes on a Plane

“Toodeloo you ghastly miscreant.”
- Die Hard 1,2,3,4

“Please remove your simian appendages from my person, you unwashed gorilla man-thing.”
- Planet of the Apes

“There is a herptile in my western footwear!”
- Toy Story

“I shall return.”
- Every Arnold Schwarzenegger movie

“I am now fully versed in the combat stylings of “Kung Fu.”
- The Matrix

“I do wish I could cease committing acts of sodomy unto your delightful buttocks.”
- Brokeback Mountain

“My dearest apologies Captain, I have configured this vessel to it’s maximum efficiency. Alas, if you wish me to attempt to defy the laws of physics, I shall increase my efforts.”
- various Star Trek movies and episodes

“Does Marsellus Wallace match the appearance of a female canine? Then why is it, good sir, that you are attempting to have coital relations with him, as if he were a female canine?”
- Pulp Fiction

“I do not believe that is an orbiting planetary body, but in fact a massive facility constructed exclusively for use in space.”
-Star Wars: A New Hope

“Oh dear. I do believe that when we dined on this soylent green, the main ingredient was in fact human beings. In its defense, twas better than English food.”
- Soylent Green

“I say to thee honestly milady, I am an indifferent.”
- Gone With the Wind

“It’s an elaborate ruse!”
- Return of the Jedi

“Miss Scarlett, I regret to inform you that I am uneducated in the field of obstetrics.”
- Gone With the Wind

“Fare thee well, infant.”
- Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Did you get them all? Have any to add?

This is BRILLIANT!

ohdahnigirl: (via longlivethequeen)

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 13:25:51 +0800

ohdahnigirl:

(via longlivethequeen)

ohdahnigirl: deadasleaves: betes-noires: leonardmccoy: chloec...

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 13:25:46 +0800

ohdahnigirl:

deadasleaves:

betes-noires:

leonardmccoy:

chloecakes:

estellaan:

drlovebite:

(via saysomethingclever)

Hey there, little piece of chicken.

omg

Ahh my hat’s on fire

(via slumsofshaolin) Thanks, it’s nice to be acknowledged

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 13:24:05 +0800

(via slumsofshaolin)

Thanks, it’s nice to be acknowledged

tumblrrinserepeat: love it. (source) So fail it’s a...

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 08:01:18 +0800

tumblrrinserepeat:

love it. (source)

So fail it’s a win.

tumblrrinserepeat: via www.marriedtothesea.com

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 08:01:00 +0800

tumblrrinserepeat:

via www.marriedtothesea.com

(via movieoftheday) Awww Andre I miss you

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 07:58:49 +0800

(via movieoftheday)

Awww Andre I miss you

thedailywhat: Buttersafe.

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 07:58:40 +0800

thedailywhat:

Buttersafe.

shortskirtlongjacket: (via fuckyesbaruchel)

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 07:57:36 +0800

shortskirtlongjacket:

(via fuckyesbaruchel)

movieoftheday: Westley: All right, where is the poison? The...

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 07:56:22 +0800

movieoftheday:

Westley: All right, where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right and who is dead.
Vizzini: But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet, or his enemy’s? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I’m not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Westley: You’ve made your decision then?
Vizzini: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
Westley: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

ibedarned: (via produck) Did you hear about the Chinese...

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 00:20:24 +0800

ibedarned:

(via produck)

Did you hear about the Chinese brothers who were the Asian pioneers of flight? Wan Wing Hai and Wan Wing Low?

Dude-a-Day Project: Beatles Edition

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 00:18:28 +0800

Dude-a-Day Project: Beatles Edition

Remember this post? I said: I’m aware that it’s sgsecret but that makes no sense. It just implies...

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 23:02:00 +0800

Remember this post?

I said:

I’m aware that it’s sgsecret but that makes no sense. It just implies that there’s only one secret. See? I’m improving things already.

And now Katie changed the sgsecret page to sgsecrets. I’m offended that she didn’t credit me with pointing this out.

Tsk tsk.

Well fuck, I hope I never grow up to become this specimen called an adult

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 22:58:04 +0800

They complain a lot

You know you've had a good time when your body is aching the next day

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 22:50:48 +0800

If you know what I mean

Hey Ele - er I mean Irene!

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 22:44:20 +0800

Hi.You are not Ele. You are her mother.

NAJMETENDER DAY REVIEW

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 22:35:36 +0800

penguinprostitution:

disclaimer

/start at ten in the morning

naj, elecat, weed and i meet at cityhall mrt

we give naj, a youtube celeb, her birthday present - a spiffy blue ukulele

we go to cedele because celery says they serve really good pancakes

celery lied

we don’t care so we just stuff our faces with pastries

people who pass us by give us the evil eye because we tear into our breakfast with our grubby hands like starving children

we talk and laugh and talk and laugh and bitch and rant and rave and talk and laugh

/leave for SAM (singapore art museum) at eleven forty-five

/reach SAM at twelve

elecat and i walk over to the counter to pay for admission tickets

counter lady smiles at us all sunny and says ‘it’s NAJMETENDER DAY so you don’t need to pay’

we smile and walk in for free

(fine, they have this lunchtime promo thing where you can go in for free from twelve to two)

elecat, weed and naj are really into the sculptures and drawings and stuff

i’m terribly uncouth and have no appreciation for the visual arts at all so i just walk around and make fun here and there

we walk around for about an hour and a half from one gallery to another and plonk ourselves on the wooden benches and discuss incest and phobias and racism

naj snaps her new ukulele string while trying to tune it in one of the galleries

‘oops,’ she chuckles

elecat, weed and i look at naj like proud parents

after all, naj’s tweaked her brand new ukulele’s virginity

/coffee and cheese sticks and potato wedges at the charming little spanish eatery in the middle of the SAM compound at two

vincent, our waiter, induces secret giggles with his godawful indian/spanish accent

we discuss parents and mental health care and mad people and insanity and boyfriends and lackthereof

/we walk in the rain to bras basah complex at threeish

naj asks the music lady to restring her ukulele

the lady stares at her all funny

‘i’ll do it myself, bitch,’ naj says

we walk out of the music store, new ukulele strings nestled between naj’s cleavage, store exploding behind us

/we walk over to mind cafe at fourish

we drink apple tea and lime juice and oxygenated water and play the paper game

karish (my sister) spreads butter on naj’s greying pubes

elecat burps into her stinky hairy left nostril

naj and i plan our podcast while weed and elecat so helpfully write fake ‘dear bitches’ letters

we laugh and talk and laugh and talk

/we meet celery, elecat’s better half, outside mind cafe at sixish

she’s so psyched because she’s beaten the parking system

‘yes, i cheated them!’ she pumps her fist in the air

we all smile even though we don’t know just how triumphant she feels

‘i know this really nice chill-out place at arab st,’ celery says

‘ooh, how do you know?’ elecat asks

‘i googled it,’ celery rolls her eyes at elecat for asking such a stupid question

‘what did you google,’ i ask playfully. ‘nice places to chill out?’

celery nods sheepishly

god, she’s so fucking cute

we all want to hump her left leg but elecat’s on celery’s left so we don’t

celery drives us in her very sweet chevrolet to arab st

we get lost a whole lot before we reach mietta, a very very posh italian restaurant

we talk and laugh and talk and laugh and talk and laugh over very very good italian food

naj gets raped by the chef on the way to the toilet

celery and i realise we are soulmates because we worship mushrooms and despise onions

celery and elecat let us in on their depraved bedroom secrets - they love mother-child roleplay

i talk about my defective vagina

we discuss golden pillows

we are all classy broads as we order dishes like ‘penne vodka number one’ and ‘penne vodka number two’

/celery drives us down to this great dessert place, oriole, at nine

we play the paper game

naj enjoys baking my armpit

the bread and butter pudding isn’t good

we talk and laugh and talk and laugh

our tummies are full

our abs are so tight and achy from laughing the whole fucking day

our cheeks are tight from all the smiling

/we all head home at ten

twelve hours with each other

if that isn’t love, i don’t know what the fuck is

and that’s what a NAJMETENDER day is

And that’s how we do

fuckyeahmarilynmonroe: classicarmela: baby marilyn monroe.

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 22:33:08 +0800

fuckyeahmarilynmonroe:

classicarmela:

baby marilyn monroe.

Taylor Swift writes in!

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 17:45:19 +0800

penguinprostitution:

pimpmysecret:

Dear Bitches,

I’m in love with my neighbour but he’s in love with another girl who looks exactly like me but with black hair. What do I do?

Dear Taylor Swift,

I think you should show up at Prom in a magical white dress and take off those damn glasses.
Oh, and bring that sign you wrote - THE SIGN. Tell him he belongs with you-ou-ou.
Oh, no offense but Beyonce had the greatest dress of all time - OF ALL TIME.

Bless Off